So, now that summer has finally ended, I’ll get back into my creative flow again. I cannot with words express how grateful I am that the summer heat waves are finally over. I am one of these people who don’t handle heat very well, at all. My whole body shuts down to survival mode. I can’t think. I can’t move. I can’t do bloody anything, and it’s so boring, yet nothing I can do about it because my body and my brain refuses anything more than – survive.
But now, the temperature is on normal levels again, and I can pick up where I left off before summer.
So, few new things has happened during the summer. Surely, you know by now about the e-book I published – the Self which wasn’t mine. The book is a deepdive into the experiences and memories of being brought up by a covert narcissist. I use that expression because I learnt it during summer. The whole book presents various memories and experiences of having a covert narcissist as a mother, and the consequences of this.
So what’s going to happen now, is that I am going to write another book. But this time, it’ll be about recovery from living in a narcissistic relation. It’ll be strongly biased to the relation mother/child, of course, since that’s where my experience lies.
I didn’t really expect this. I had no plans whatsoever of doing something like this, but I found a new Youtube channel discussing all things narcissistic, and I’ve realized that I have come so far on my journey of recovery. It’d be unfair not to share what I’ve done to get this far.
I have no idea exactly when I’ll get started on this book. I have quite a few other things to do as well. I’m collaborating with Will Atherton at the Fenrir Canine Show on Youtube, and that’ll take up some of my time.
Mainly, this post is just a reminder – both to you and to myself, that I most certainly am not vanished into thin air, and that things will get kickstarted again. All of a sudden, I feel kinda busy. 😀
So, the first book being written is a supergeeky theoretic book on photography. It’ll be suitable for people who are into photography or perhaps art history/theory. It’ll be dealing with the concept of truth and how we percieve and understand it in photography. Most people will most likely find it extremely boring. 😀
There are many benefits being a photographer and have studied art history focusing on theory/method on photography. That gives a multitude of perspectives on the same subject, not to mention a very wide range or knowledge that expands both parts of the coin, so to speak. It’s amazing.
That is one of my goals with this book; to widen the knowledge with the reader. It’ll be tons of theory, but also lots of knowledge on the practical part of photography. This will increase your understanding on why and how you read/percieve/understand photographs in a certain way.
I want this book to be really good. That’s why I decided not only to write down my own thoughts on the matter, but also to add my thoughts on some of the authors I’ve read in my art history studies. Not everything is focused specifically on photography – there are other aspects that are very important in this as well.
So why do I think this book should be written, at all? There are many reasons for that. Partly; because I want to write it. I find this subject extremely interesting. But then; I am quite interested in philosophy, especially combined with art. I might even take up studies in aesthetics at some point, no matter if in distance studies or just for me, personally.
But there’s another reason for this as well. We live in a time where photography is described as truth. Photographs are brought out of context and presented as something they were never meant to be. I really do believe that we, people as a group, need to get better at understanding this and know how and why we percieve and understand things.
Either way; the book will be written, and it is not up to me how you read and understand it, or what reasons you have for reading it in the first place. I just hope that you get something out of it – hopefully enough to spread the word.
Oh, and hey – please buy me a cup of tea while you’re at it.
I’ll be needing huge amounts of tea for this book to be written. 😀
Sometimes I find it hard to actually get started on things, because there are so many things I want to do at the same time, and so my brain boils down into soup when I can’t decide where to start. 😀 It’s a bit less fun than described – it’s actually quite annoying. And at the same time soooo exciting.
One of the benefits of doing it this way, without any proper customers like any normal business, but rather with an audience that as of yet doesn’t really know what I intend to do, is that – even if you don’t know you want to see it yet, I have some sort of expectations on top of me. That leads me to actually begin creating, although there’s no automatic financial payoff for me. Not yet, anyway, but I hope it will be, eventually.
And so; I have begun. I really am in the beginning of the beginning, and while I enjoy it immensely, it also happens to be quite frustrating.
For example; I have begun hinting to some people I want to talk to them about their view on dogs (and more) for the first issue of key-zine. I have also begun thinking about and trying out some stuff for the layout, since that’s a big turn-on for me when it comes to creating stuff. I usually do everything at once – writing, photographing and layout pretty much simultaneously. To me, all these things are very closely connected since I am so picky about how an audience percieves my work.
I have also begun writing on my super geeky book on truth in photography. I need to find my way around how to express myself first of all, so at the moment, I’m just trying to find the written word for it. And trust me when I tell you; the ideas behind this book are so abstract it’ll take quite a lot of work to make it understandable. And I cannot stress enough just how extremely exciting I think that is. I’m such a geek.
Oh, and about the book – I have also gotten myself a test reader. I would like one or two more of these, so if you’re interested in reading a very nerdy book on theory/method in analyzing photography, please do let me know.
In general I have to admit I am so very, very pleased I got around to do this. I’ve been thinking about it for years, but so much has been in the way – mainly my own mental health. But I really do feel like I need to do this unless I want to explode out of boredom. These are exactly the kind of challenges I enjoy the most. And since this stupid covid-19 very effectively prevents most of us to be social in pretty much any way, it feels like an awesome idea.
So, now that I have an awesome platform to share stuff with you guys, the first thing I’m going to do is – write books, actually. Or, some of them will be more of photo books, while at least one will be an overly geeky, nerdy and theoretical book on photography.
The geeky book on photography will deal with truth and how we percieve, interpret and understand it in photography. This is a subject I find extremely interesting, and one that I intended to write a master essay on when studying art history. Unfortunately, back then, I got very sick with my bipolar disorder so I never got to write that essay. But the idea is still there, and one I find extremely exciting.
Did I mention I am geeky and nerdy on this kind of stuff? 😀
Then there’s a photo book I intend to make, with focus on something I really do enjoy. Magic. And I don’t mean the Harry Potter kind of magic, or the magic described by Roald Dahl or Terry Pretchett. No, I’m talking about real magic. The one we find if we actually start looking and seeing what’s right there in front of our eyes. And the forest really is full of it. It’s amazing. ♥
This touches my interest in shamanism and spiritual growth.
Another book to come up actually already exists. I am, however, going to change it and add some material since in it’s present form, is a bit too short for my taste. The topic is fairly controversial and provocative for most people, I believe. It touches the subject of Femdom (Female domination, BDSM) through emotion and mental experiences rather than physical ones.
This book is and will be more poetic, and has no pornographic material. It does, however, deal with strong emotional experiences. Please be aware.
Since I just finished the basics of this site, I haven’t really begun on any of these books yet. That means I have no idea how long it’ll take before they’re done. The positive side of that is it’ll give me time to save up money to get software and other stuff that I need.
Click here and help me save up.
Key of Life
staying true to oneself
So. I’m back. I’ve been away from creating stuff on a regular basis for a very, very long time. But years of dealing with my bipolar disorder have made me bored and restless, so it’s time I do what I’m best at.
I’ll do it differently this time, though. Last time, I tried to do what other people wanted, and that doesn’t work for me at all.
I’m at my very best when I create things that for one reason or the other is important to me. That’s what I intend to do here, and I hope you’ll like it.
Since I am retired from work due to my bipolar disorder, I have very limited resources to actually do everything I want to do. Please consider supporting me once in a while, or perhaps on a regular basis, so I can keep doing all the stuff I love doing.
As for staying true to oneself; that is a quiet reminder to myself that I can’t be anyone else but me. I tried for so many years to be someone else, but I can’t. I am who I am, and I am not appologizing for it. Not anymore.
Key of Life is just getting started, so changes will happen, material and content will be added and removed. Fear not; this will be awesome in the end. ♥
If you like what I do, please consider donating.